lilttlekingtrashmouth:

Myself @ me: you need to wake up earlier so you don’t waste the day
Me @ myself: sorry I was sleeping and just saw this lol wyd

(via seanp0donnell)

spainstateofmind:

brown-nena:

How Amazon reviews go:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“This is the best thing I’ve ever purchased in my entire life. Customer service rep was like family. Delivery time was 16 minutes, condition is perfect, and it has lasted me 20 years.”

⭐️
“Ordered a bed frame and got a pack of plastic knives instead. Customer service told me to fuck off. Delivery lasted 7 years. Caused a divorce. Lost my house. I am now going to jail.”

⭐️

“Product was correct, worked properly, seller included extra attachments for product, WAS NOT DELIVERED WITHIN 2 DAYS WOULD GIVE 0 STARS IF POSSIBLE”

(via confirmance)

policygal:

meladoodle:

meladoodle:

meladoodle:

my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”

i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone

If you don’t reblog cauliflower granddad, then you’re just a mean person.

(via seanp0donnell)

flowerbpd:

if you say neurotypical 3 times in front of the bathroom mirror a psych major shows up and tells you to drink more water

(via only1600kids)